Oh sweet somber dirge of of death

a kindof length peom by Miscellaneousbob( c)12/06/2010

 Oh sweet somber dirge of of death
Whom have the come to lay to rest.
 These the damned whoms heads to which the Valkyries shook.
It's only their place to judge the poor bloke.
Her lover was in that senseless war,
Condemned was he to see her never more.
Giving only but loving glance as their final movement chanced by,
Not a word spoke from ether's lips, only spoke the tender voices inherited by their  hearts.
set out what he had to do to protect her. he played the ultimate parts.
And in the end the soider's state was to die.
 In much anguish to hear her silence crys.
the very tears he wanted to keep from her eyes.
Now he whatches her from the city most silver,
guarding her from above with a quiver most golden.
All be cause of the soilders scarfice,the one most embolden.
would not allow his earthly promised broken,
That one day he would lovinly return,,,,,,
to the family he did once lost,
simply to bury his  urn,
and plant upon his lovers lips
The chance to sail on the angelic ships
Because Valhalla did await
and renouncing their earthly hardships
The lovers two sailed past the golden gate.
Her son stayedy you see, looking for his own glory
however when  from the mighty hills the trolls came down

This place was run as a different town in the end
no a happy place to which the son could blend.
asthus  he became a warrior tried and true.
the day he died was somber and blue.
for the dirgebell had long since rang silent and still
and for him there were none to cry of remenber him well
In the end he held his vow,
to be a fighter of great renown

The Valkyries need no deathly dirge to find their kin.
and in the end he saw his mothers face,
and he spoke his last with almost anxioues grin.
why, Slain chooser,do you torment me in this place.
with tear filled eyes she somberly answered,
 I came, just so I could once more look upon my dear sons face.

 And in theend the dirge most somber played it's final tolls.
to send off angles to where they must forever go.

Off they flew boy in  hand.
To what was his, promised lands
At the gate they did join by their arms
A united family, marching into a golden city, filled with it's eternal charms

Coming soon on part-time evil

So, we now have a YouTube account, you can find Us, well, me under, what else MiscellaneouBoB.  Currently the stream has no content.
HOWEVER, B.B and I are working on a project or two that I am very excited to be a
part of and should be ready relatively soon if the day job and miniory schedules allow.

  That said, We are close to finally securing some Recording equipment.
Unfortunately it will be of standard issue level. Which means, as with most standard issue gear,
It may not be top quality. Then again it might be,along with a kick in the teeth and the
toothless eating, well, more like gumming,  of my words.

Either way it will be nice to finally have video related capabilities,
regardless of how we get them.

~MB

Splatter house: Blood, brains, and hocky masked psychos.

 Sooo Minions and masters, Villains and Vassals
I picked up the new splatter house today despite the fact I was originally
going to wait on it. However one of my friends called up and mentioned that the original three were unlockables. So, being the sucker I am for such rewards
I couldn't resist it.

 I do not regret it. While there nothing revolutionary about the game play,
which is the basic beat em up formula, kill enemies in the room till door opens,
minor bit of platforming/avoiding traps, more baddies to kill then boss battle,
Purchase upgrades along the way. Like i said nothing new but it feels so good!

Jim Cummings as the voice of the Terror mask couldn't have been
a better fit. He's sarcastic, he's patronising, constantly goading you, and almost always has the sinister tone in his voice. He does total asshole personality really well..Another thing, It's hilarious, at least to me, to hear him shout the various obscenities every few seconds. Due largely to the fact that he's done voices for Disney.

The story is decent so far. However I'm only 3-4 levels into the game.
So , yeah,if you enjoyed the original games, you won't be disappointed. If you've never played them, this is a pretty good choice to start with, specially since you can unlock the originals.

Oh, almost forgot and this is most definitely not a game for the squeamish, or
something to play around the little ones. The level of gore in this game is on a level I've not witnessed before. I mean it is over the top.You can literally beat an enemy over the head with your own dismembered arm. How man games can boast that?  Also there are little pictures of the Rick's (main character) girlfriend that have light nudity in em so, yeah, not a game for young eyes.

 Ok folks, I'm off to rejoin the fray, and continue Rick's quest to save his girlfriend.
 
Miinniooonnrryyyyyyy!

*Bob's body was later located by Part-time Evil's MRS (Minion Recovery Squad) in an aabandoned mansion. The old desolate home in which he was found seemed to have bore witness to a massacre that had nothing to do with the minion himself.

 However bob was found in a pool of his own blood with his body  covered in various scratches and bite marks, most likely caused by the pack of wild raccoons  that were hiding in the nearby fireplace. Thanks to his partially undead nature Bob was back to work two days later.

 He currently refuses to talk about the incident to anyone other than B.B.

Dance Central, a lighter form of rageahol

The developers of Dance central can go fuck themselves with a rusty fucking spork.
never have a loathed a game so much.

First of all, I went into this ...experiment knowing I can't dance.
However when I fail a move that is essentially just extremely light head banging with my hands slightly to the sides of my head , or a simple pelvic thrust. Moves that even I know how to do.
then I know it's not me. it's the game.

I had one of my friends, whom can para para, break dance,and goes to clubs to dance on a
regular basis play this game. Guess what, she failed the pelvic thrust and head bang as well.

"well practice makes perfect bob"
I have practice certain songs for HOURS and the majority of the moves I do will still register
as being incorrect even if done right.

Part of the issue is the is NO fucking leeway for most of the moves. Even if your doing them what would normally be the right way, your body has to completely match the exact positioning of the character
on screen.

An example would be the "torch" and rodeo moves. Some how I always fail the rodeo move because even when i let my arm"Dangle" like the character's arm on the screen,because my arms are longer than most, I fail the move.I usually  fail the torch move 50% because the move before it has my hand in a different weirdish position and I can instantly warp my hand to the spot it needs to be in when the move starts.

That's another complaint I have about this game. Alot of moves don't flow into each other very well and your likely to lose points because you are still in the finishing position from the last one when the motion for the next one starts and is in a completely opposite of what you were doing last.

Now as much as I hate this game, it does have a few decent strong points.
The Selection of songs, the co-op, and the chance to luagh at your friends as they make complete jackasses out of themselveswhen they start tossing furniture around for failing moves and motions as simple as head banging.

Overall if you can endure the rage inducing moments of this gameyou are sure to have fun. However do  not play this game if you have a short fuse or are in anger managment, you WILL end up wanting to go out and punch and kick everything withing a two mile radius. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Thats it for tonight folks, now off to my therapist , god knows I need it after playing this equivalent of a 40oz bottle of rage-ahol.

~Misc.BoB

 Why does Microsoft have to uglfy the xbox 360's dashboard every year?
I mean, my god first they made the backgrounds I bought aboutsolutely useless due
the panles blocking all but a slim portion of the art, along with adding channles that make navigating to what I want a chore.

So, tedious hunting for the panle youneed, ugly panles,  your paid for backgrounds make worthless, what worse could microsoft do after that Bob you may ask? Plenty. Today was "THE FALL UPDATE"
and they changed the guide button menus background to a headache inducing white. The kind of white
that could cause blindness if you look at it for more than two or three seconds. What makes it a major problem is, is that HAVE to see it EVERYTIME you go to log your profile in.

On the topic of the 360, The " Red Dead Redemption: Undead nightmare" Exspansion released recently,
and it is a Tasty peice of gaming. The sandbox is still there,  The characters you love from the main story are present, and you get to kill zombies. Seth is particularlly at home with the outbreak, which isn't too suprising  considering what he is like in the main campaine. If you play RDR this is a must have expansion.

  So the last thingI have to report on is... Halloween Minion schenanigans
Big Bob andI passed out candy last night infront of Hq.  We were in standared Minion gear, seeing as the all the stores that sellcostumes seemed to have posters with our faces and "Do not sell to these people" written on them along the wall near the registers we didn't have much choice.

B.B playing the role of the unmoving statue that came to life when warry travlers attempted to proccur some of our candy.. I then procce after the consumption ofthe candy to off the antidotes at the low low price of $9.99. unfortunately no onethought I was serious..So if you stopped by the Part-time evil inc.building to trick or treat, you should seek medical attention if two or more of the following occur.

Annoying itch in embarrasing places
Dry,irritated eyes,
The sudden need to purchase a chihuahua
An inability to care for house plants despite having so many.
Discolored toe nails.
Having an odd shaped  fleshy canal that allows the passage of oxygen to your lungs in the middle of your face.
Enjoyment of cat related  videos on popular sites such as youtube or veoh. Specially the kitten vids.
The enjoyment of popular internet spread photoshopped images or memes.
you see dancing pink tacos wearing mexican wrerestles masks acompanied with a monacle.

"If the following occurs get to the hospital immedately:
 You begin to, or currently enjoy "tim and eric awsomes how good job
Has nothing to do with the candy we handed out. The show is a level of suck that the godofall suck handed his crown over to Tim and eric after a day of vomiting because he was forced to view no more than a minute of it  f you begin to enjoy it , it is a sure sign of mental degeration.

A mercy killing will be gladly available if you think tim heidecker and eric warhiem are capable of creating anything that isn't a pile of vomit ontop of a pile ofcrap thats on top of a pile of dead skunks. No one deserves that kind of torture.. no one.


well thats all for tonight folks! Good night and sweet somber nightmares to all

Apology for lack of content.

Yeah yeah I know. I promised content and haven't delivered quite yet.
I do Apologise but like most of you that big thing called life keeps
calling.

While I have been a bit to busy to actually produce any thing worthy of posting,
or have lacked the components (video capture  software for example)
 to do so, I have had time to come up with some idea's for the blog that will be
made when I have a chance.

Such as our coming soon feature
"EPIC DICE"

Minions love d& d. It's great way to pass the time between deployments or on extended
lunch breaks when on the job. Even better is when you have aset of dice that constantly
hit those 20's you so crave during battles and give you the critical hits/wins you love.

Epic dice, which will occur once a month or so, will take a list of 20 or so random items.
some user submitted if possible,and, Miscellaneous bob will roll a d20 , or twenty sided die for
you non geeky folk, and see what chaos will be wrought from my roll.
The idea is that the more awsome or less embrassing items/dares/challanges be up in
upper range, and the more, ouch factor items being in the lower form. with 20 being a critical and awesome
thing, and a roll of 1 being something truly horrifying.


Also Bobsfirst Mail bag coming soon.
Just as suprised as you folks, didn't realise I actually had people reading this.

So I'll graciously take the time to answer some mail,
on video!

Thanks as always for reading!

Profiles in Minionry: Miscellaneous Bob

                      Minion profile.

Name: Bob the miscellaneous Minion.
aka: Miscellaneous Bob.
Minion type:  Miscellaneous (Faceless)
Height: 5'11
Build: Skinny/slim
Personality: Calm and laid back . Occasionally suffers from various psychosis's due to earlier incidents in his career.
Favorite food:: Tacos
Likes: His job, Jack o' lantern's, Not getting punched in the face.
Dislikes: Being mistaken for Jason vorhees (The masks our totally different damn it!)
  Being punched in the face
Fears: Chibi-tron, Captain face punch., literally drowning in paperwork.
Friends: Big Bob, Fuhai "of the grave"



Special traits: Partially undead.  An uncanny ability  to detect when something bad is about to occur, deemed "minion sense".
 Urban Camouflage: Being a faceless minion is that you can easily step into a crowd and disappear. This is an ability that bob has perfected, and finds himself using quiet often when an evil overlords.

Quirks: Talks to jack o'lanterns, and even has a small one that fits in his hand named "squishy pumpkin"
that seems to never rot. This may be a side effect of the circumstances that lead to his partially undead state.


Always, ALWAYS, has on his protective hockey mask (most people mistake him as a Jason vorhee's cos player) . The only exception is when he takes it off to blend in with the crowd to escape a marauding hero
hell bent on face punching him or worse.


Bio:  Bob the miscellaneous Minion aka Miscellaneous Bob is  well of the many faceless minions know as "the miscellaneous"  who work at Part-time evil. The main differences between them and him are that he's been there since almost the beginning of the company, and that he is the head of the Minion Management Department.

Along with other duties, he negotiates contracts  between the Villains use PTE's Minion placement program,helps with  deployment planning, and mission trouble shooting.The work is hard, but Bob finds it satisfying.

Bob isn't completely stuck at a desk behind a stack of papers, his talents as a veteran minion, and survivor and many campaigns of villainous servitude often have him being deployed as a field commander, assisting as backup or often times part of an elite "troubleshooting" unit. Which usually just consists of "big"bob and himself.

Bob got the name "Bob" from his first encounter with the head of the company, who, in his inability to remember the new hires  name and just called him by the first name that popped into his head which was simply Bob. It stuck, and not once has he ever objected.

While his career in professional minionry didn't have the most glorious of starts MiscellanousBob is quiet happy with how far he's come, and managed to survive in this line of business. Specially with who many heroes that love to mow down faceless minions , or simply go out of their way to punch his face in.

Of minions and Men.

   Welcome to the humble blog of Bob the Miscellaneous Minion a.k.a. Miscellaneous Bob.

   I'm the head of minion Management @ good old part-time evil Inc.
Yes! Part Time evil inc. We've got all your evil needs here in one place.
 including the constantly improving minion placement program. We've got
 Masked Men, mad men,  maladjusted muscle men, menacing monsters and more!

 With the shameless plug out of the way here's what to expect from my little piece of Internet heaven.

Minion Management reports,
Villainous Mission debriefings and minion war stories.
Minionry!
Random reviews
Survival tips for fresh fodd...er.. I mean rambunctious rookies
Hero alerts!
Minionry!
Part-time evil's company status reports
Minion of the Month
Biographies of the mighty Villains that we are often contracted to work for.
and Minionry!

The Blog updates when life allows, but I'll try to keep a regular schedule when I can between getting my face punched in by heroes, and avoiding the lethal deathtraps in the Lair of whichever villain I'm currently "leased" to. So mabey expect something once a week


~Miscellaneous Bob